to my lydia beth –
Mama is scared. I know, I am not supposed to be scared. After all, I am supposed to be strong, knowledgeable, right, and brave. But the truth is, most of the time, I am weak, confused, wrong, and terrified.
You have been running a temperature ranging from 101-103 degrees all day. One minute you are enjoying playing, and the next minute you are shivering cold. Your beautiful pink lips keep turning a little blue and then back pink again. When I think we should do one thing, the scenario changes, and I am back questioning everything we’ve already done. It is challenging to know what is best for you. There is no manual to adhere to, yet there are too many answers on the internet.
I am writing to you today to let you know that it is okay to be weak, confused, wrong, and terrified. It is okay NOT to have all the answers while simultaneously breaking all the rules:
- When the sleep manual says, “Don’t rock your baby to sleep,” but your baby is sick and having difficulty breathing, rock your baby to sleep.
- When you want your baby to ingest organic or natural products, but a little Tylenol would help keep their fever down, give your baby Tylenol.
- When you haven’t nursed your baby (in the middle of the night) for over six months, but the extra nutrient would boost their immune system, nurse your baby in the middle of the night.
Parent with grace. The rules and manuals are helpful, but God at work in you will help you the most. Trust God! Use the wisdom He provides, and don’t ever be afraid to ask for help. Call your doctor; they are there to help you. They can help clarify your situation (especially if you’re tired from a lack of sleep). If God grants you children, He will equip you.
- He gives strength when we are weak.
- He gives wisdom when we lack knowledge.
- He gives direction when we are wrong.
- He gives peace when we are terrified.
Hold your baby and know that you are doing the most important thing of all.